I’m not entirely impressed, but some of it is nice. (To be real, I wish it was a little dancier… Maybe a bit more Erasure or Pet Shop Boys.) Sometimes, I can’t tell if I still give a shit about electronic music, but I know that deep down, I always will; I was a dancer for most of my life, so it’s like it’s part of me. Plus, even though I’m way too socially awkward to dance publicly (except on stage), I’m still definitely a dancer at heart.
A lot of my interests make me feel really out of place in hardcore and punk circles, though. It’s like I’m constantly trying to figure out who I am and what I genuinely enjoy and what I’m pushing aside because of my social circles. For years, I was all about makeup and looking fierce every time I left the house (this meant wearing fascinators, hats, and falsies with my band tees and jeans, basically), then all of the sudden, I didn’t wear a single spot of makeup. Now I’m getting back into it and wondering why I ever stopped (especially because I was nowhere near as broke then as I am now). I don’t consciously give a shit what anyone in the scene thinks or says about me, but I’m sure that somewhere inside, I care a lot. We all do.
One thing I’m positive of, though, is that Davey Havok will probably eternally be one of my fashion icons. I have no idea why, except that the man has excellent taste in clothing, accessories, and cosmetics. He’s my beauty ideal, I think, which is the source of my apparent gender confusion.