Does anyone else ever feel like death during ovulation? I love having an app on my phone where I can enter my symptoms, because every month, it assures me that feeling this shitty is normal for me. I don’t know if it should be, but it is.

Does anyone know of anything that might make my spikes in estrogen more tolerable? Or anything that makes transitioning to different phases of the cycle easier in general? I take Vitanica’s Cramp Bark Extra, but it’s only really good for cramps and stuff. Any ideas?

I can’t feel sexy when my gut’s all big and bubbly and my reproductive organs feel all weird. Some girls have all the luck.

I don’t know if the kombucha and chocolate-covered coffee beans I had around 2 in the afternoon are somehow still working their magic on me or if this is all hormonal, but I feel wide-awake, jittery, and anxious as fuck. My throat’s tight and I can’t stay still.

I also feel really hungry, but I really don’t feel like eating. I regret not going to sleep before all of this got really bad. My pelvis is definitely achey and my body is definitely weird right now.

I feel like I need to go for a walk or a jog or something. This is ridiculous. At the same time, though, my legs hurt. I’m not sure if I want to rest them or use them.

I couldn’t find my usual anxiety-relief supplement, so I resorted to some old valerian root capsules. My normal pills have valerian, too, but not so much. I guess if I crash, it’s a good thing, though.

REDEEMING DISCUSSION (just so this post isn’t entirely pointless): I’m a little confused as to why Obama waited until now to finally take a stance on gay marriage. I honestly believe it’s a reelection tactic. Not that that makes it any less valid, because I still greatly appreciate the fact that he’s finally standing up for equality, but it feels like something some PR person has been thinking long and hard about. I’d have been a bit more stoked on it if he’d said it even a few months ago. The timing feels like an attempt to keep up appearances. Of course, I don’t know him, so I wouldn’t really know.

I always know I’m ovulating when I have to pee every twenty minutes. There’s usually an upset stomach involved at some point as well, which is also going on today.

I really envy people who just feel super attractive and horny when they ovulate, because I just want to cry.

Time to get back on daily wild yam again. I’m tired of this nonsense.

• I’ll get to the rant eventually, but really, it’s gonna be insanely long and probably really disappointing. I keep thinking of new things to address and each one feels like it could take up an entire chapter. This is serious business.
• If you’re into zines (and especially zines about Fresno), check out Our Scene Sux. They just released issue #2 yesterday. (Would it be weird of me to review both issues in otherXcore #4? Because I need to fill space and I already reviewed issue #1.)
• My pelvis hurts, but I’ve started taking Vitanica Women’s Phase I again. I’m gonna try to take it daily for a month or two (note to self: buy another bottle ASAP) and report my findings. If I don’t feel like death during my next cycle, I’ll know that it really does rule.
• Tonight is gonna be punk.

Within maybe 15 minutes of waking up, I was anxious. Considering all I did was turn the lights on, answer some innocent texts, and get ready to shower, I have no idea what I’m doing wrong, but it needs to stop.

Does ovulation destroy anyone else’s stomach, or is that just me? 

Charting is both a blessing and a curse, but I can’t tell which it’s more of.

My pelvis feels poised to explode. If not the pelvis itself, certainly the organs within. Ouch.

No food? Bloated. Full meal? Bloated. Vegan, organic, healthy? Bloated. Potato chips and processed bullshit? Bloated. My body isn’t into the whole “existing” thing.