1. Thinking way too much about gender identities.

    Gender has been on my mind a lot lately, partially because several of my papers have been (at least in part) about gender, and today, after I read about Laura Jane Grace, I’ve been unable to get it off my mind. (Tumblr usually spurs questions of gender and sexuality anyway, which is probably a big part of what keeps me here.)

    I identify as a woman (which is what I was born as) , but referring to myself as one weirds me out, for some reason. It’s almost like I try to forget about gender even though, as a feminist, it’s something that comes up pretty much daily. I definitely don’t feel male, though, as much as I’ve often wished I did. There have been times when I’ve been pretty sure that I was a gay man in a straight woman’s body, but tons of people say that shit. My renewed interest in makeup and vanity in general has further complicated things, but now I have something further anchoring me to feminine “norms,” whereas before, I suppose I had even less to make me feel feminine.

    I’m kind of just typing as I think and getting some thoughts out. I know this is something a lot of us think about and have to muddle through. Sometimes it’s tiring and weird.

    I wonder how much I confused my classmates when I read from my final CNF revision, which had a lot of shit about gender and sexuality. In my first draft, I think they all assumed I was a lesbian. Now, they probably just think I’m weird. (I made it clear, though, that I’m not a lesbian. I’ll identify as queer, but I usually feel kind of bad about it because I’m practically sexless and feel weird with any sexual identity.)


  2. In which I take way too many pictures and make some stupid faces.

    I’ve been thinking a lot about dandyism lately, which is no surprise, given that my last paper of the semester had a lot to do with it. I consider Morrissey a great example of a dandy because he is incredibly private, which is an important aspect of dandyism. A dandy tends to treat their public persona as a sort of work of art, something for others to admire but never be able to unravel. I love the idea of dandyism, and while I’m totally an open book, I like to consider myself a bit of a part-time dandy, at least style-wise.

    Now if only I could stop complaining about every little problem on the internet, I could be wonderfully mysterious and drive people crazy. My sexuality and “love life” have always been something I’ve mostly kept to myself, partly because I don’t care to figure myself out to the point that I really have to claim anything, because I think sexuality is often fluid, and partly because I’d just rather leave people guessing. I’m quite dull, so I might as well leave them something to wonder about. (Also, there’s really nothing to tell.)


  3. In regards to the earlier anon messages regarding my thoughts on straight edge and ableism, I’ve actually talked about that (very briefly) before here. I completely forgot about it.

    I definitely acknowledge the fact that I’m emotionally-equipped enough to handle my own intestinal disease (my doctors don’t know what to tell me, so we just call it IBS, because it’s similar), ovarian cysts, anxiety, and depression without the help of substances, but that’s not to say that I don’t have my own coping mechanisms. When I do get anxiety attacks, valerian root and other soothing herbs like lavender become my best friends. As far as intestinal pain goes, I haven’t found a way to solve that problem, so I feel like shit a lot, and I wish I didn’t, but one, I could never afford to keep up a marijuana habit if I wanted to, and two, I have no interest in using it. It’s fine for my ex, it’s fine for my dad, it’s fine for tons of other people, but it’s not for me. I’ll continue to vote and push for legalization, as I’ve been doing, but I’m still not into weed.

    But really, as far as the situation in question goes, I just really need the person who supposedly loved me more than anyone for several years to be okay with talking about who and what I am as a person. Sometimes I get confused (like when she coerced me into the relationship even though I kept insisting I was straight and then I suddenly really cared about her but still was never remotely sexually attracted to her which turned out to be because I’m asexual).


  4. In Victorian England, gender roles were asserted mainly through dress and social behavior; however, dandyism and aestheticism served to subvert a number of these gendered norms. In the novel, The Picture of Dorian Gray, there are aspects of class and subversive gender performances that dictate the relationships between the characters of Basil, Dorian, and Lord Henry, as well as the way they navigate their world and interact with other characters. By examining these performances, relationships, and intersectionalities, we can better understand the historical context for the novel. In order to thoroughly build this context, I will discuss the roles of gender and sexuality in Victorian England, the effects of class on gender and sexuality in Victorian England, the way dandies performed these things, aestheticism and what it means for the novel, and Oscar Wilde’s own performances of gender and sexuality, as well as his role as an aesthetic writer.

    Here’s that paper I did on The Picture of Dorian Gray for Lesbian and Gay Literature last semester, in case you’re interested in that sort of thing. It’s incredibly far from perfect, but it got me an A and it’s something to work on in the future.


  5. thatdeafchick:




    There we go. I’ve continued the sassy coming out ace card to extend to more orientations. These are intended as a joke, but they might actually come in handy if you’re being questioned about your orientation and you need a sassy retort. 

    [Note: I’ve also edited the asexual one for optimum readability. If you are visually impaired, I would greatly appreciate your feedback on the legibility and readability of these comps. I wanna make sure everyone can enjoy my designs, not only those with good vision. So your feedback is a big help!]

    Cute n’ sassy lil “coming out cards”…think of it as an auto-reply to those who think your sexuality should be public domain.


    the Aromantic ______ sexual!

    DAS ME!!! ive never seen that recognized outside the ace community! 

    as you can be Aromantic and still be sexual!


    (via lipstick-feminists)


  6. Identity politics are bumming me out.

    For now, I’ve decided to refrain from publicly identifying as anything unless asked or if I feel like it’s relevant to a discussion.

    I will still identify as depressing, an asshole, et cetera. Negative identifiers are fine because I really don’t care.

    Other than that, my gender and sexuality shall remain unnamed because they don’t matter much anyway in the scheme of things and I don’t want to have to worry about people flipping out if I contradict something. (God forbid I do something human.)


  7. Happy National Coming Out Day!

    Coming out isn’t easy, and for some people, it may be too risky in their current situations, but for those who have had the opportunity, I hope it’s made things easier for you. If you don’t feel safe coming out publicly, perhaps confide in people you trust (if they don’t already know). I’m always here if you need to talk about your gender identity or sexuality, and I’m no expert, but I’ll do what I can because I know how tough it can be to sort through these things alone.


  8. feministdisney:





    You Can’t Be a Princess” | Journalists from ABC’s “What Would You Do?” planted hidden cameras in a Halloween store and filmed shoppers’ reactions to a boy who wanted a princess costume and a girl who wanted a Spiderman costume.



    the problem with the tumblr community is that they like to focus on the negative instead of shining light on the positive. at the end of the video, there’s a mom who champions the girl’s decision to be spiderman.


    no tumblr user krystian i’m not going to ignore six and a half minutes of blatant, outrageous homophobia and cissexism just because you want a gifset that gives you the warm fuzzies

    the little boy who dressed up as a princess didn’t get a happy ending. nobody came to his defense. that’s because we’re trained to ignore the “negative” and frankly i’m not here for that bullshit

    the contents of this gifset are disgusting. these people’s words might make you uncomfortable. do not ignore these people. don’t ignore the anger you’re feeling. deal with it. use it constructively in the real world.

    In case you have problems (as I did) watching the video, here’s another link so you can see the whole thing.

    someone left this video on my facebook wall today

    This was one of the most disappointing ‘What Would You Do?’ scenarios ever. The one group of people who were actually supportive conflated dressing in costumes of the opposite gender with being gay or trans*, and even though they didn’t see either of those things as wrong, it’s problematic to assume that the gender of a costume can determine the gender identity or sexuality of a child.

    (Source: scenicroutes, via fuckyeahhardfemme)


  9. I woke up to an angry, semi-coherent text from Internet Ex-GF, who was angry that I wasn’t up to reply to her first angry, semi-coherent text at 8:15 in the morning. (I apologize that I don’t live in Michigan, but thank god I don’t live in Michigan*.) When last we spoke she wanted my opinion on her current girlfriend, who, for lack of better phraseology, looks a bit like she might somehow live in a Hot Topic store in 2006, and continued to do what she always does and make me out to be an awful person for not understanding my own sexuality or lack thereof, as if it’s my fault that the world doesn’t teach me how asexuals are supposed to do things, or how to quickly and easily nail down a sexual orientation (especially with next to no sexual attraction to base it on). Sorry I wasn’t sure of myself in high school, I guess? Sorry I’m still not sure of myself in my early twenties?

    I think I only ever reply now to keep some sort of drama in my otherwise uneventful life. I’m not even sure I care anymore. She doesn’t even appreciate pop music or designer fashion or goth.

    *I’m sorry, Michigan friends; I’m sure it’s a great place, but as a Californian, I feel I have an obligation to fulfill by pretending I’m in a much better place. 


  10. lifeisw0rthliving:




    Beyond this being really cool, I just gotta say…



    This is awesome.

    This is so great!

    (via oohthatgrrrl)