If you’re in a relationship that you know is bad news, you can get out of it, no matter how impossible it seems. No one, regardless of gender or orientation, deserves to be made to feel uncomfortable or put through any sort of pain they didn’t consent to.

If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m always willing to listen and offer any advice or resources I possibly can. You can hit me up via Facebook, snail mail, through The Bel-Tower, et cetera. (I’d post my email here, but I’m mostly spam-free and I’d like to keep it that way, but you can always ask me for it.)

For professional advice and support, anywhere and anytime, call RAINN (the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) at 1-800-656-HOPE or visit their site at http://www.rainn.org, where they have an online hotline. They have tons of resources on their site for you to check out if you need them.

Remember that any abuse is not your fault, no matter what anyone tells you, and that you don’t have to deal with it. You will always have a support network, even if it only consists of fellow survivors and allies. You’re never alone.

<3

SXR

I’ve had a looooot of indigestion lately (I’m not sure if I have a hernia or GERD, or if it’s just prostaglandins torturing me, as they do every month), and it’s been making me think of the year or so that I unknowingly suffered from gallstones. I had indigestion daily, couldn’t eat onions or tomatoes (which made ordering In-N-Out grilled cheese pretty dull), and I was nauseated 24/7. Basically, I was living on Tums, anti-emetics like Nauzene (nasty, but effective), and water. I think that’s what led to my severe emetophobia, actually.

My old doctor had always told me it was just because I was fat, which I knew had to be bullshit, and when I saw a new doctor, he sent me in for blood work and ultrasounds, and voila, gallstones. So, finally, after about a year of suffering, I had my gallbladder removed the week after my high school graduation. It was my first surgery, so I was terrified and nearly backed out several times, but my mom (who had a more invasive version of the same procedure done years and years ago) kept assuring me that it would be fine, and I wanted relief, so I went through with it.

Honestly, all I remember other than getting ready that morning was being wheeled into the OR, hearing some random song from the ’80s (I can’t remember which one because I think they’d already given me the anesthetic), one doctor mocking another for listening to it, and then I was out. When I woke up, I wasn’t the least bit nauseated and the pain was nowhere near as bad as I expected. In the 30+ hours I was in the hospital, I only had a dose and a half of demerol, just to give you an idea of how easy it was to deal with. I never took a single painkiller during my recovery, either, and I was going to shows again within two or three days.

If you’ve got gallstones and you’re contemplating surgery, I say do it. I think it’s fucked up my digestive system a bit, but I’m truly grateful to be able to eat again and not have indigestion keeping me up all night, every night. I know it’s a terrifying idea, but it’s not as bad as it sounds. If you need someone to talk to or just want to know more about the experience, feel free to message me.